The Beginning Dissected

I had summed up the beginning of the story. “Clive learns of murder.”

Now it is time to further dissect the story.  The best way to do this is to expand on what we last talked about. Beginning, middle, and end.

But first, a disclaimer: Story dissection is not something to be intimidated by. It is very intuitive and straightforward.

Now, pressing on.

While each story has a beginning, a middle, and an end, the same is true of each part of the story.

What I’m saying is the the beginning of the story also has a beginning, middle, and end.  We can break it down thusly:

Beginning Beginning

Beginning Middle

Beginning End

Now we have subdivided the first 1/3 of our story into three parts. If you are reading this blog and writing your own story, now is the time when you do the same.

However that is not all.  In order to properly craft a story, we must understand that each subcategory of the acts has its own subdivisions.  To avoid confusion, we will use the numbers 1, 2, and 3 to express the three acts in each of these sections. Further, acronyms will be used for the sake of brevity.

BB1, BB2, BB3, BM1, BM2, BM3, BE1, BE2, BE3

And while most amateur screenwriters will tell you that nine sections will suffice for a short film, I will tell you that they are wrong and their stories are nonspecific pieces of garbage.

As a professional unpaid screenwriter, it is necessary to understand that each of these sections has RISING ACTION, CONTINUED TENSION, and a CATHARTIC PAYOFF.

We can see how our story is dissected thusly:

BB1RABB1CTBB1CPBB2RABB2CTBB2CPBB3RABB3CTBB3CPBM1RABM1CTBM1CPBM2RABM2CTBM2CPBM3RABM3CTBM3CPBE1RABE1CTBE1CPBE2RABE2CTBE2CPBE3RABE3CTBE3CP

And in order to maintain interest, the end of each subdivision should have an UNEXPECTED REVERSAL and the end of each act should have a MEMORABLE GO-OUT.

BB1RABB1CTBB1CPURBB2RABB2CTBB2URCPBB3RABB3CTBB3CPURMGBM1RABM1CTBM1CPURBM2RABM2CTBM2CPURBM3RABM3CTBM3CPURMGBE1RABE1CTBE1CPURBE2RABE2CTBE2CPURBE3RABE3CTBE3CPURMG

So yeah. There’s my story guide for you writers out there. Just do that.

NEXT TIME: The best tattoo parlors in Los Angeles and the merits of having the story guide permanently inked into your forearm.

Beginning, Middle, End

With the inciting incident done and our main character finding the body, it was time to get going with the story.  So now the important question: what is our story?

We’ve established that it is the story of Clive Jackman and it all starts when he finds a body.  But now I needed a reason for him to find the body.

My first idea was to make him some sort of a spy or secret agent.  With James Bond and Jason Bourne and a plethora of other spy movies, I decided that was too cliche.

For that reason, I decided to make him a cop.

But not just any cop, a “detective.” A special kind of cop whose job it is to investigate crimes.

The revelations felt like the carving of a sculpture. I didn’t have a fully formed marble statue of David yet. However with each decision, I was getting closer and closer to a naked dude with average sized genitalia no matter what anyone else says.

Deciding what Clive’s story is is where the art of screenwriting comes in.  After all, whose body does he find? Why is he searching the abattoir? When is he gonna bang the yet to be identified female lead?

These questions and more are what needed to be answered.

And the best way to do that is to start with the big picture and slowly zoom in. For this reason, the story will be divided into the three parts I mentioned earlier: Beginning, Middle, and End.

A fun exercise is to sum up each of these three parts in one sentence.

Beginning: Clive investigates the murder.

Middle: Clive is targeted by the killer.

End: Clive confronts the killer.

While this is a great start, it dawned on me that our short film is only going to be six or seven pages. For this reason, I tightened the plot up a bit:

Beginning: Clive learns of murder.

Middle: Clive ties his shoes.

End: Clive kills killer.

NEXT TIME: We discuss why the middle is sometimes referred to as “the muddle” and how to prevent other similar typos.

The Inciting Incident

I found myself at a standstill in the script.  Luckily I knew why.

Writing the story line by line had gotten me as far as it could.  It was time to plan out the story at the macro level.

I had my protagonist complete.  And since the antagonist was just going to be the opposite of him it’s kind of like two characters are complete.

As for the story structure, every writer knows you need a beginning, middle, and end.

The most important part of the beginning is called the “inciting incident.” It is a fancy vocabulary term for whatever gets your story going.

In “Star Wars” it’s when Luke finds the voicemail from Princess Laya.

In “The Tree of Life” it’s when the universe starts.

In “Up” it’s when the old man abducts the child.

And in the script I’m writing, it is when Clive Jackman finds the dead body.

Now I know what you’re thinking: when should this inciting incident occur?

Some will tell you it should occur halfway through the first act.  Others will tell you it should occur after you’ve established your world.  And if these answers sound a little confusing or vague, you’re in luck because they are wrong.

The inciting incident should occur as soon as possible.

After all, it is the event that hooks your reader.

For this reason, I made it the first line in the story.

INT. ABATTOIR – FADING DUSK

CLIVE JACKMAN stumbles upon the lifeless corpse, confused and afraid.

Now I know what many of you are thinking: isn’t that technically the second line?  The slug line is the first line.

I know you’re thinking this because I had the same thought first.  For that reason, I changed it up:

The lifeless body stared back at him.

INT. ABATTOIR – FADING DUSK

CLIVE JACKMAN stood over the corpse…

A lot of script purists will tell you this not only breaks rules that have been in place for decades but is also difficult to understand.

Thankfully, the rules are meant to be broken and the inciting incident needs to occur as early as possible.  That is why I recommend making it the first line in whatever script you are writing.

However I wasn’t satisfied.  I needed to set myself apart.

After all, any writer can make the first line of their script the inciting incident and I will have lost my advantage.

I needed to get across the inciting incident before the first line.

And then it hit me.

The title.

The title of the story needed to be the inciting incident.

For this reason, I retitled “The Thousand Yard Grave” to “He Finds a Body.”

Wow.

Now the reader gets to the inciting incident before even opening the script.  There is literally no way to make the inciting incident occur any earlier in the script.

NEXT TIME: How to hook the reader with only the return address on the envelope you send the script in.

Short Film – Main Character Description

Having failed to pick a name for my short film in the last entry, I decided to take executive action.  After all, names can always be changed later and I had bigger fish to fuck.

And so our hero’s name was chosen: Clive Jackman.

Wow.  That’s a powerful name.  Clive has an air of worldly knowledge and sophistication and Jackman sounds like it might have some quasi-phallic implications.

Perfect.

But now the tricky part: presenting Clive Jackman to our reader using words.

Using words to convey ideas has always been an area of writing that I struggle with.  But that’s no excuse to not try.  I came up with:

Walking out of the shadows is… CLIVE JACKMAN, 32, looking not unlike a young Christopher Walken.  While listening to his retro Walkman, he walks to a walk-in freezer.

I had to take a breath from the raw creativity that poured out from me.  And then I re-read what I had written.

But I had the strange feeling that something wasn’t quite working.  So I dissected it piece by piece.

The beginning of the description was a must.  Emerging from the shadows creates an atmosphere of intrigue.  That wasn’t it.

Saying Clive looks like Christopher Walken not only puts a clear image into the reader’s mind but also saves me the trouble of having to articulate what he looks like.  So that couldn’t be it either.

While the Walkman is certainly dated, my instincts told me that it gives a flair to Clive.  He’s a man stuck in a different era.  That couldn’t be it either.

I was unsure why the paragraph felt off.

And then it hit me: Clive Jackman needed a clear positive identifier.  Something to let the audience know he was the good guy.  Something to make him sympathetic.

A dog.

People love dogs.  If Clive had a dog, the audience would immediately know he was compassionate.

We could even have the bad guy kill the dog later if we want to make the audience mad.

So after a quick re-write, I had Clive Jackman’s character introduction:

Walking out of the shadows is… CLIVE WOCKMAN, 32, reminiscent of Christopher Walken.  Walking in front is the dog he walks to the walk-in freezer while listening to his Walkman.

Something with the language still felt off but I couldn’t put my finger on it.  So it’s probably just the perfectionist in me being paranoid.

NEXT TIME: We give the dog a name.  Maybe Scruffy or Barney.  Or we’ll advance the plot.

 

 

Short Film – Main Character

The script is progressing.  I’ve set the scene and decided on a couple character traits for the main character of “The Thousand Foot Grave.”

Now we need a name for our handsome hero with the photographic memory.

The goal of a character name is to make the reader associate that name with the attributes of your character.  For instance, if you have a nerd character, your might consider naming him Thaddius.  Or if you have a muscular dimwit, you might name him Marko.  If you have a douchebag you might name it Derrick, like the guy I knew in 10th grade who was a complete tool.

Since we are naming our protagonist, we want people to associate him with leading men.  For this reason, what I needed to do was combine the names of two of Hollywood’s leading men.

I didn’t want to just pick two names at random though.  I wanted this name to be associated with Hollywood’s most dashing actors.  I started by making a list of a few of my favorite Hollywood’s A-listers off the top of my head.  Unfortunately, my girlfriend was not around so I had to order it myself.  I did my best to order it by objective attractiveness:

First is Clive Owen.  People associate British accents with intelligence and hotness.

Second place was a three way tie between Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey, and Hugh Jackman.  Matthew McConaughey is tall and slender and Hugh Jackman has muscles for miles.  Channing Tatum is just yes please.

Third Place was a nine way tie between Jon Hamm, George Clooney, Daniel Craig, Bradley Cooper, Leonardo DiCaprio, Orlando Bloom, Chris Pine, Brad Pitt, and Josh Duhamel.

Jon Hamm on Mad Men has that sophistication and confidence that makes him irresistible so that’s just a given.

I decided some of the older favorites deserved mention even if they are cliche.  You know who you are George, Leo, and Brad so don’t pretend you don’t.

Orlando Bloom is more of my own personal taste which is why I didn’t bump him up to second place.  I was really into Lord of the Rings growing up and had a picture of him on my wall.  The elf ears give me a rush of nostalgia and excitement.

Daniel Craig ranks high on the hotness scale for the exact opposite reason.  He just has the Bond aroma that smells of danger and lust and chiseled abs anyone would kill to grate cheese on (you know you would).

Bradley Cooper and Chris Pine have the same youthful hunkiness that I’m looking for.  It’s not hard to imagine them ranking higher some years down the road.

That just leaves Josh Duhamel.  Some people are going to chastise me for this decision but I’m sticking with it.  He has the clean shaven sexiness of a devoted husband and the raw masculinity to get your engine revving.  He’s underrated by everyone and no one understands how great he is which is so stupid because he’s so great it’s just stupid and not fair at all.

My next thought was that some people might question Jon Hamm’s 3rd place ranking given how irresistible he is.  After all, doesn’t that qualify him for at least second place?  The short answer is no since all the guys mentioned are irresistible.  That’s what qualifies them for any placing.  The long answer is that confidence is sexy but not when combined with dishonesty.  I want a man to say nice things to me but only if he means it.  I’m not going to give myself up for empty words, even if his bone structure is to die for.

After completing the first, second, and third place finishers there was only one step left:

I had to list the runners up:

Johnny Depp, Will Smith, Ben Affleck, Gerard Butler, Jude Law, Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Reynolds, Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Zac Efron, Josh Hartnett, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, Edward Norton, Robert Pattinson, Tom Cruise, Ryan Gosling, Daniel Radcliffe, James Franco, Joesph Gordon-Levitt, Rob Lowe, Antonio Banderas, Patrick Dempsey, Taye Diggs, Pierce Brosnan, Chris O’Donnell, and, of course, Kyle Chandler.

I spent a lot of time considering whether or not to justify the runners up or list them by hotness but decided the undertaking would be time consuming and ultimately moot since they didn’t place in first, second, or third.  However they all know they have a special place in my heart and are super hunks so no biggie.

NEXT TIME: Shit, I never picked a name.